Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Wednesday the 15th's thoughts/opinions

Just some thoughts and opinions that are racing through my head today...

1. The Great Gatsby brought to film was absolutely incredible.  It was like you were attending the most epic party of all time, but unfortunately had to stay for clean up.  The soundtrack gave me goosebumps aka Lana Del Rey's angel cords were the perfect match.  However, some of Jay Z's lyrics were not historically accurate with the 1920's and talked about the civil rights movement.  I would say you cannot blame Yeezy, but the guy was executive producer so bad editing on your part.

2. my love for pizza will last forever.  Pizza never leaves you like a boyfriend does (literally, you can see it on your ass five minutes after ingesting it).  If someone  could find a way to make pizza under 100 calories, I would kiss them on the mouth, with a lil tongue action if they add mushrooms.

3. Netflix is the best/worst invention of all time.  Take what i say with a grain of salt because I do not pay for my netflix I just use other people's dad's accounts.  I watched like three hours of 'American Dad' yesterday.  Yes it was hysterical, but three hours is excessive.  Also, if Netflix could hook- up with the YMCA so I could watch my shows while attempting to run, maybe I would burn off all those pizza slices.

4. Chobani yogurt is overrated.  That shit cray.  Finally jumped on the band wagon and tried it this am, and this was only because my roommate left some in our fridge I was not going to become corporate and invest. 

5. Bazooka Joe comics are not funny, if you want to last in the gum industry find new talent to write your punch lines. I will continue to chew you and make my dentist further resent my mouth, but spice up my gum chewing experience or I will switch to Bubble Yum.

6.  Paper cuts are worse then breaking a bone.  Okay thats drastic.  Paper cuts are worse then breaking like a finger.

7. The word 'moist' should be outlawed.  Everytime a person uses the word 'moist' they should be shocked or have water thrown in their face to end this word.  Everytime I type the word I frown and picture an old Jewish grandmother describing a piece of cake.  She is not a cute grandmother, she is the grandmother that gives you a card that she literally just wrote 'love, grandma xoxo' in and skimped on the cash.

8. Bikini shopping should be done in the best lighting.  Target uses these high voltage lights that make Cara Delvinge look like she has cellulite and that chick is perfect.

9. I consider myself very up to date with celebrity gossip, and even I cannot keep up with Rihanna's hairstyles.  I think she is currently rocking a blonde bob.  If I was a gamlbing woman, I would put money that before June she changes it again to something either mermaid long or pixie, maybe dyed pink.

Looking back on these, this is more of me complaining.... sorry about that.  Feel free to ignore a lot of these, except the bikini thing.  that should be addressed at the federal level asap.

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